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The small victories in life.

I bought a $500 bag for $3 today.

I also bought a vintage flower tapestry purse for the same price.

  

Discussing relationship with a friend is always a bonding topic.
At the end of the day, your true friends are forever. Boyfriends, girlfriends, fuckbuddies come and go but your real friends always have your back.

Other than that, it’s refreshing to know that I’m not the only that confused with dating. I go from meeting men that are clearly not over their exes and basically want me to fill the space and be to her, to the ones that are basically completely incompetent and need you to hold their hand like their mama to get anything done and when I do meet men that seem to have together, then you have the emotional deficiency issues that come in play and all that shit.

For a while, in retrospect, I’d think “is it me? Am I the one that’s maybe, you know, a little off” but I realized today that there’s no magic formula and no fucking equation. Incompatibility is exactly what it is. It had nothing to do with you or your partner. There’s nothing wrong with anyone. You’re simple incompatible for whatever reason.
My friend is about to let go a year long relationship and you know, I can see that it’s hard for her.
But you’re young, hot and full of fire and passion, why stay with someone that doesn’t appreciate that.
It’s like I want to say a million things and my brain isn’t computing fast enough and my fingers can’t type fast enough.
But, I will say this to end it.
Dating is just weird.
It’s weird and its complicated. It’s fun then it’s sad. It’s almost like standing at the edge of a cliff and hoping that someone is there to catch if you do decide to fall.
But,
I congratulate all y’all that are happy with someone.
Good luck to all you that are dating or trying to you.
And to those of you that are just as confused as I am, I salute you motherfuckers.

9ja tale.

I have many fond and surprisingly vivid memories from my 8 year stint in Nigeria.
There’s one particular even that I’ve been thinking about for days now. I was in the first or second grade and I think I was on vacation or it was the weekend or some public holiday.
I just remember that most people were at home this morning. We heard commotion outside. Moments later, my uncle( I think) came in and told us that a thief had just been caught. The thief, along with another thief that escaped tried to rob the local beer parlor.
In Nigeria, well in Lagos, it is extremely common in every neighborhood to have a beer parlor. It’s usually run by a lady and usually all kinds of alcohol along with soft drinks(soda). Alongside drinks, peppersoup(a very spicy soup typically containing plenty of meat. Goat peppersoup is especially delicious and popular).
When news spread that a thief was captured, people came out to see because we always knew that he was in for one hell of a beating.

First, he was beaten.
Then, the area boys( local thugs and rouges) placed car tired around his body. Next, he was covered in gasoline. Then, he was burnt alive.

Now, I’m a catholic. My whole family is Catholic. As much as we didn’t support and didn’t watch the burning, it’s not as if we were going to oppose it either. Well, personally I wouldn’t.
It’s not uncommon to hear of a thief being burnt. It’s also not an everyday occurrence but its something that happens. When we hear of it, people simply shake their heads in sympathy.
But we all get it.
We understood why.
The poor are tired of being constantly bled by not only politicians and the rich but also by the poor. I believe that to them, that one thief represent every thief, politician, rich person, white man, western country that stole from and exploited them. He represented everyone that made their life much harder than it should be.
In burning him, momentarily, and only momentarily, they ridded themselves of those that constantly stole and exploited them.

But you also have to look at the perspective of the thief. In Lagos, people steal because they have to. I never knew that people actually steal for the “rush” until I came to the United States. In Lagos, they steal out of necessity. I don’t consider Nigeria a third world country but the disparity between the rich and poor is extremely wide and is exponentially growing. Unemployment is rampant. I believe that the unemployment in Nigeria is honestly intentional and people are only unemployed because it benefits the rich and western countries that seek only to exploit us for our resources and labor. There is no minimum wage. Getting into college is partly luck and who you know that can help you get in even though we have JAMB(college entrance examinations).
The average college graduate doesn’t find a job and those that are lucky to find one are barely paid enough to live on. The cost of living is constantly increasing while the wages go no higher or even get lower because honestly how the fuck are you going to complain about low pay when you’re thanking The Lord that you found this job. Those that land good, well-paying do so out of luck and who you know. The system, if one exists, doesn’t play fair. We all know.

In retrospect, this one memory, as maybe useless or absurd it may seems, says volumes about life in Nigeria. Note, this was maybe 10 years ago but I know much hasn’t changed.

When someone says , “have some respect for yourself”, they’re basically “you should respect yourself the way I think it’s acceptable for people to respect themselves”.

Your version of self-respect is not my version of self respect while mine is not yours or anyone else’s. Instead of preaching self-respect, it would be much more appropriate to simply just shut the fuck up.

I’m trying to listen to Mozart and Charles Mingus while high.

Talk about feeling the motherfucking music.

Um, I don’t understand why anyone would be upset, mad or even annoyed by me and not tell me but just act passive aggressive as fuck.
It’s just really annoying and it actually hurts my feelings.
You know, it’s like you see someone as your friend but on the low, they’re mad at you and you don’t even know what you did.

The thing is, I’m always down to talk shit out and get over it or just part ways if that’s what needs to be done so I don’t understand why people act all passive aggressive and shit.
If they gave an ounce of a shit about me, they’d let me that they had a problem.
I’m just annoyed. Whatever. This is why 90% of people I know will stay acquaintances. I don’t have time or the energy to deal with passive aggressive shit and to be treated like some common bitch that you’re not cool with.

When I die, I hope my selfies are considered art.
A gallery full of self-absorbed black girls.
I love it.

I’ve become rather apathetic towards Father’s Day.
I don’t have the energy to waste being bitter or sad.

Kudos to all the great fathers, step-fathers, male father figures, moms/aunt/grandmas that had to step into the role of a father.
Kudos.
Kudos to you all.